I would like to ask you to consider the following and undertake a similar process to see if you can better identify where your energy and activity should be placed.
I was fortunate enough to speak to an eclectic audience at the University of Buckingham. The core reason behind the delivery was to use personal experience to inform and inspire the students on the business and entrepreneurial courses.
Now a significant birthday looms and this has provided an interesting time to look back at over 35 years in business. Don't panic I'm not telling my life storey here!. The process of preparing for the speech meant I was forced to take time and reflect on things that have influenced my life, both people and events. In turn I then was forced to ask how have they affected my decision making processes and choices of direction. What now, are my true drivers and influensers.
From this I have concluded that helping others plays a large, but not sole, part in my being content and getting fulfilment from my activities. However I also need to make a living, so have to find a balance. (Oddly I have recently encountered many business people who seem to share this dilema.) A solution at present escapes me, but at least progress has been made and I now know one of the challenges I face. This allows me to direct energy and action much closer to the right direction.
This has been a challenging process, but i wil be doing it again , speech or no speech, and I would strongly recommend others do the same. Having done this you are, in my view, far better placed to make informed decisions, better direct your activity and understand where you will get the most satisfaction in your work and life choices. So take time out for some self evaluation, perhaps with a close friend or your business mentor, and perhaps find your best direction.
If you want to know more about the speech content, which had the desired effect by the way, then i'm afraid you will need to book me to speak, or attend an event where I am presenting on this subject.